Unacceptable
by Alahnore
Summary: As the rest don their black mourning clothes and gather around the empty casket, Flynn is no where to be found. It's unacceptable; a Commandant shirking his duties, and missing his own best friend's funeral. / Post-Zaude one-shot, spoilers. Flynn x Yuri; shounen-ai warning.


**SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU HAVE NOT PASSED THE ENDURING SHRINE OF ZAUDE, THIS FIC WILL SPOIL IT FOR YOU.**

* * *

Estelle was on the verge of tears already because of what was going on, but now things were rapidly deteriorating for the worse, and if not for Rita insistently encouraging her, she'd probably drop to her knees and sob into her hands. Everyone was running through the capital, shouting and overturning every stone it seemed, but the result was always the same. Everyone returned empty handed, and if they kept delaying, eventually the whole thing was going to be called off.

And Yuri deserved more than that, so eventually, even Estelle had to give up searching for the missing Commandant.

She heard the few officials there muttering to themselves. How unacceptable it was for a Commandant to be so emotional he would skip out on his duty. Even if it was his own best friend's funeral.

Estelle never thought she'd be so sad to see an empty casket.

It was a tense funeral, with Brave Vesperia and friends on one side as forced officials stood clustered together on the other. None of them were very eager to perform this small ceremony for them, and if not for Ioder backing her, Estelle was sure they wouldn't have allowed it.

Rita put one of her favorite blastia into the casket.

Estelle grabbed her hand for both comfort and stability when the mage returned to her side. The past three weeks had been brutal on all of their emotions. Even those who were not very emotive themselves, Estelle could see through to them. The way they looked, walked, talked… everyone had changed, even if all of them tried to hide it until this moment.

Karol put in the remnants of his broken sword.

Estelle grasped his hand too when he returned to the group. His eyes were already watering and he gripped her hand tightly, head bowed. She felt like she would cry too, but she could at least wait until those unforgiving jerks on the other side of the casket had gone away. Karol stepped closer to her, and Estelle didn't deny him comfort, letting his hand go to wrap an arm around his shaking shoulders. Rita soon pressed her own teary face to Estelle's shoulder, and the princess nearly lost it there.

Judith set in a small notebook filled with shared recipes before stoically returning to the line.

Estelle wished she had Judith's strength. To be able to keep such a flat face, even now. It was sad to see, but she would rather be stoic than fighting off tears right now. She wanted to be strong, for everyone, but it seemed Judith would hold onto her inner strength and wall herself off. And in a way, Estelle thought maybe that really was a sadder state to be in.

Repede whined before trotting up to the casket. He rubbed his head against it, and then returned to behind the group, lying down on the ground.

Even Repede seemed to have lost hope. Although she really couldn't tell sometimes, Estelle could sense his sadness, the loneliness the loyal dog was experiencing. It was much like her own.

Raven was the last to approach, lingering longer than the others before he set down the guild plaque into the casket. When he walked back, he too had a stoic, frozen expression on his face. Estelle glanced to him, and for a moment, thought Judith had grasped his hand.

Soon it was her turn, and she carefully disengaged from Rita and Karol to approach the empty casket, picking up her 'gift' and holding it in shaking hands. She stared at the items within, most of it the few things Yuri owned and those the others imparted to him. Yuri's body was never found… and Estelle was almost afraid of what it would look like after three weeks in the sea. But then at least, if there was a body, they'd finally know…

_I wish…_

Wish he was still alive. Wish he was with them. Wish it was her, not him. Wish no one had to feel this loss. Wish Flynn was here to also say goodbye.

It really was unacceptable for a best friend to miss a funeral. But she couldn't rightfully blame him.

With a soft sob, Estelle laid the Second Star within the casket and fled back to the arms of her friends.

* * *

He heard everyone shouting for him. Heard Judith, Karol, Rita, Schwann, Lady Estellise… he heard Hanks and Ted and all the people of the Lower Quarter. Eventually he heard Sodia and Witcher. But it didn't matter—the one voice he wanted to hear call for him would never do it again.

Flynn slowly lowered himself down to the thin mattress, head bowed til his forehead touched the sheets. This tiny room was always a mess. More than once, when he managed to visit, he cleaned the place just for his own peace of mind while Yuri watched with the usual indifferent look. But messy or clean, it felt homey. Yuri was in it, occupied it, and it felt like a home even if it was tiny and cluttered and smelled like dog and was sometimes dirty. The few hours Flynn could spare to come here always put him at ease, as did Yuri's smirks and biting comments about the Knights.

The rare occasions he came here for a day, spent cooped up in here with Yuri because the idiot did something to warrant a minor arrest, were some of his happier times. Just being with his friend, when he wasn't chained to duty, was a relief.

Now there was no friend to come visit. No friend to greet him or playfully slam the door in his face or pretend to try and push out the window. No Yuri to ask for help in catching Repede for his weekly bath or get out of trouble.

No Yuri to watch, gaze at, smile and laugh with. No Yuri to get into spats and spars and fights about stupid things.

_How could this happen to you…? You did everything… you faced down everything. _

It was foolish. Deep down Flynn thought Yuri was indestructible. That he didn't really have to worry about Yuri, because he would always make it through. Why not this?

_I don't want to give up. They can bury all the caskets they want…_

But weeks of searching... He wasted as many of the capital's time and resources as they allowed him, to 'work out his grief.' Now it was time to put on a strong front and be the Commandant they needed. It was time to throw away his feelings and be the perfect, ideal Knight everyone thought he was.

Flynn bitterly gripped the sheets of the bed, eyes clenched shut. He wasn't perfect or ideal. He was just following a promise.

A promise made to a friend who wasn't here anymore.

He was right there at Zaude. A shot to the shoulder shouldn't have stopped him. He was right there… why couldn't he save Yuri? Why couldn't he get off his knees, shoulder the pain and save Yuri when he needed him the most?

Of all the times to fail…

_"That's not proper at all!"_

_"C'mon, would you actually **want **__to go to my funeral, Flynn?"_

_"This isn't a joke, Yuri! You can't tell me not to worry and then say something like that! Especially now, when we—"_

_"Flynn… I said to spare me the guilt trips tonight. Come here."_

If Flynn could, he might let himself hate Yuri. But he was incapable of ever hating the man. All he could do was hold on to his promises, fulfill them. For all the 'power' Flynn had, he never felt more useless and weak then right now, curled up on Yuri's bed without him there curled up next to him.

_Now, you're not here… and I didn't stop it. I can't change it…_


End file.
